jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
