I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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