I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
