i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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