i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I believe in your delicious
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
