So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
