Don't you send me to vm
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
