Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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