I can tuck mytits in my pants
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
