I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
