definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
