2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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