I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
