oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
