i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
