i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
