He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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