Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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