he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I know her cup size but not her name....
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