On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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