Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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