the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
