I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
