We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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