Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
