The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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