How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You smell like stripper and shame
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You are a genius and a whore.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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