you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
