You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
