Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
