i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
