Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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