would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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