I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
