woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
