In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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