He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
