A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
