I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize