i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize