At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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