I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
