So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
