so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Im part way to drunk.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
