It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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