So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize