I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
