Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize