i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
