i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
