We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
