I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
