but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
