I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
