That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You pole danced in your parka.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
