We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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