The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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